Cutting the Crap: Joe The Plumber is a Whiny Little Bitch

There was an awful
lot of talk about "Joe the Plumber" last night, wasn’t there? By
virtue of that debate, one would think Joe was an average American
working stiff, just trying to make his way to the American Dream. Listen to
him, and you could get the impression Joe was being smoked in his desire to
reach for the brass ring of business ownership, you know?


Okay, so let me ask


Am I the only one
out there who thinks "Joe the Plumber" is a selfish, stupid ass?

He’s a liar, too,
but I’ll get to that in a bit. Let’s start with the selfish and stupid part.
Stupid’s easier, so we’ll start there.


First of all, you
have to understand that Joe’s talking about a business, not himself as an
individual. Now, keep in mind, Barack Obama’s plan CUTS taxes on most people
making less than $250,000 per year. As a business, do you know how much revenue
Joe would have to take in, in order to make a net taxable profit of $280,000?
His business gets to deduct all of his business’s expenses before he gets taxed
(something you can’t do), and that would include the salary he pays himself and
his employees (his taxes won’t go up on that), and all of the benefits and
taxes he pays, as well. He also deducts rent, cost of equipment, depreciation
on equipment, advertising, etc. In order to even make the $280,000 profit, on
average, Joe would have to do $2.8 million in business. And frankly, folks, a
10% net profit is astronomical in business terms. We could be talking well over
$3 million in business here.


Of course, in order
to DO $2.8 million in business in the first place, Joe will need to vote for
someone who can fix the economy. It’s a profoundly stupid businessman who would
refuse to go into business because of the potential tax liability. Under Obama’s
plan, the MOST Joe would see in tax increases would be less
than $900
. See, the profit of the
business Joe claims he wants to buy is between $250-280,000, and the only
amount that’s taxed is the amount OVER $250,000, so he will only see a tax
increase of 3 percentage points on $30,000. How stupid do you have to be, to give up on buying a business that would
supposedly net you $280,000, because of $900 in extra taxes? I don’t see very
many businessmen giving up the extra profits, because their taxes might go up,
do you?


And unless someone
can get this economy moving, Joe isn’t going to be able to buy the business,
anyway, because no one will be able to lend him the money. And even if he can find
someone to lend him the money to start the business, then he’d better hope that
someone figures out a way to stabilize the housing market, and do so soon, or
an awful lot of people will duct tape their pipes, rather than hire Joe to fix
them. Joe should wake up and look around him at all of the vacant homes up
there in Ohio.


Plus, check this
out. Under Barack Obama, 95% of Joe’s potential customers will get a tax cut,
and will therefore have more money to pay Joe for plumbing, making it more
likely that he’ll be able to take in the $2.8 million per year he’ll likely
have to do, in order to make that magical $280,000 mark. Not only that, but under Barack Obama’s
health care plan, the cost to Joe for providing his employees with health
insurance will save him a hell of a lot more than the $900 per month he might
pay in higher taxes.


Now, let’s talk
about why he’s selfish.


If Joe’s actually in
a position to buy his own business and be competitive, it’s due in no small
part to government actions. The plumbers who work for him are all
licensed and certified, by state standards, so that his business is able to run
properly and efficiently. The state provided him, his workers, and his wife and
kids, with an education, so that they can make a living and/or run a business
in this country. They provide safety standards for the materials he’ll use in
his business, make sure the building he runs his business in is up to code, and
make sure the streets and highways he will use to move his plumbers and
materials are in good shape.


All of that costs
money, and with the neocons in charge, we haven’t been paying our bills. At
some point, we have to stop pushing our expenses off on our kids.


I’m sorry, folks,
but am I the only one who thinks that someone with the potential to make
$280,000 and complains about an extra $900 in taxes per year is a whiner?


Joe the Plumber is
not, by any means, an average American. There are tens of millions of families
who have seen their food, gas and energy costs rise a hell of a lot more than
$900 per year, and they’re not making anywhere near $280,000 per year. Not only
that, but Joe’s business gets to deduct all of that extra money he’s paying for
gasoline on his plumbing trucks, and the electric bill for his office,
while few of his customers do, unless
he’s working exclusively with other businesses.


Joe the Plumber is a


Note: I wrote all of
the above early this morning, before I found out anything about Joe Wurzelbacher.


I found out a lot
more about him today, but I’m going to leave this as is, because the issue is
that he’s really not a typical American at all. He’s a whiny little bitch, even
without all of the other baggage he carries.

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