Republican Exceptionalism or, March of the Perverts

PUBsIn May, I turn 58. I have been going in to public restrooms by myself since first grade, so that’s more than a half century. In a half century, I can honestly say that I am unaware of anyone checking out my junk to make sure I was “qualified” to be in that bathroom and to have the “privilege” of peeing in that urinal or sitting on that toilet. Throughout junior high and high school, I played sports and went to physical education classes, after which we all retired to the boys’ locker room after, to shower and change back into our school clothes. Not once am I aware of anyone checking out my junk, but even if they had, who really gives a shit, since no one ever attacked me or sexually assaulted me as a result, ever?

What the hell is so scary about gay and trans people? For that matter, what is so scary about Muslims? What is so scary about Black people? Or Latinos? Good God, man; why is everything in Republican World that doesn’t fit their narrow view of “normal” so goddamn scary that good, solid Americans are being asked to give up their rights as… As what? Protection?

I mean, I know people who are afraid to go into a public restroom. It’s a disorder and they get counseling for it. But to use such a fear to anchor a political movement? What for? We used to be the “land of the free and the home of the brave,” didn’t we? So, why do we even entertain a movement that has at its core a fear of everything “different,” meaning a fear of everything they’ve been able to avoid all their lives and no longer can because, you know, times change and we’re learning to live with equal rights and even enjoy them.

What Republicans fear more than anything is the prospect of everyone, including LGBT, brown and black people and non-pseudo-Christians just like the, having the same rights and opportunities as everyone else. But that’s not the problem. The problem is, they are willing to use the law to prevent it from happening, even though it goes against everything the United States supposedly stands for. If you are afraid of the same things they are, you’re just a sick fuck, and I mean that with all sincerity.

House Minority Leader Boehner wipes tears as colleague Johnson speaks about his prisoner-of-war status in WashingtonHow psychotic are you, if a major fear is that some guy might look at your ass or your bulge and momentarily desire you? If he touches you, of course, I feel that you should have every right to deck him, but if he’s just looking at you, or perhaps adds a wolf whistle, what harm is done, really? (And for a lot of you Republican men who are creeped out by that, think about how that makes you feel the next time you look at a woman that way… Just sayin…) And even if you are embarrassed slightly, is that enough to result in actively taking away that person’s rights and the rights of millions of others? If you think it is, again, I say, you’re a sick fuck. You are the one with the problem.

This is your modern Republican Party, folks. They think their irrational fears should be sufficient for denying rights to millions of people. Remember when we were trying to kill the asinine “Don’t ask, don’t tell” law and to open up the military to gay people? What was their number one complaint? Showers! A soldier – someone who has been trained in hand-to-hand combat and to take down an enemy soldier with his bare hands, if it comes down to it – should fear the possibility that some other guy may look at his ass with admiration. How sick is that? That is something worth taking away the right of Americans to defend their country?

And look at all of these “religious freedom” laws that are being passed in red states. What are they defending, exactly? The right of a business owner to not do business with someone they think might sin? Hardly. No Republican ever passed a law to allow business owners to forbid adulterers or even mass murderers from their stores. Nope. Just “homosexuals” and trans people, who they think of as “perverts” because they don’t understand anything and they don’t have the inclination to understand them. The funny thing is, Republicans like this can’t even think of gay people without imagining them having sex, so who are the real perverts, if we’re being honest?

Corndog1-384x288I remember my first trip to Hollywood. I was living in what is now referred to as “South Central,” in a rented room in a home owned by a German lady named Mrs. Murello. I decided to blow off work one day, so I got on an RTD bus (the old yellow ones, remember?) and left the bus in front of the Pantages Theater, which was a movie theater then (my brother and I would see “Animal House” there a few weeks later, so this would have been 1978). As I got off the bus, I was greeted by a six-foot-four-inch tall black man wearing a red dress and spike heels who shouted, “Welcome to Hollywood!” He held out his hand for me to shake and I shook it. According to modern-day Republicans, I apparently should have been scared to death of him and either run away from him or “stand my ground” and shoot him, but I didn’t feel threatened; he was living his life the way he wanted. In what way is that threatening, unless you hate yourself? I don’t pretend to understand what it’s like to be black, or gay, or to want to wear women’s clothing. I sure as hell don’t pretend to know how anyone wears spike heels. But do I have to understand it to accept people? Of course not. I also give money to fight cancer; do I have to get cancer to care about it?

That’s the thing, folks. We have to stop allowing Republican to have any power in the political system because our government can’t be run by a movement full of wimps who are afraid of their own shadow. They like to use the word “feckless” to describe President Obama, but really; what’s more feckless than passing laws to abrogate the rights of people you’re afraid of? And frankly, while they talk a great game about perversion, what is more perverted than passing laws that require the screening of people who walk into restrooms, to make sure they represent “the sex they were born as”? That’s just the sickest thing I have ever heard of. They claim to worry about men who might pretend to be women to get into a women’s locker room to see some breasts, but really, is that any less creepy than checking the junk of everyone who enters a restroom?

Here’s an idea. Everyone just leave everyone alone unless they actually do something to you? Isn’t that a great concept?

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One comment

  1. Of course, it isn’t just about bathrooms – the bathroom noise and press coverage is just a smoke screen for whatever other sneaky nasties are tucked into the legislation.

    Women have been using Men’s bathrooms for years. Boys (non-toddler) have been accompanying their mothers into Women’s bathrooms for even longer.

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