Today’s Condi Moment

The current administration is nothing short of evil incarnate. I don’t know how else to say it.

But then, look at its ideological base; the neocons. Neocons are to government what Streptococcus pyogenes is to human flesh. You see, their main premise is that government is incompetent to do anything, except "defend" the country. Of course, to a neocon, "defense" means having your rich friends build a bunch of weapons systems that are completely impractical and will never be used. Nothing goes to the soldiers, or to provide practica; defensive weapons that might actually protect someone; no, it all goes toward planning and building newer and more efficient ways to kill because, apparently, the only way to protect the United States is to obliterate everyone else on the planet. Well, that, and because their largest contributors make a bunch of money building this useless shit.

Well, the Bush Administration is like the uber Neocon Administration. They’re not just carrying on the neocon tradition of idiocy on "defense," they’re trying to make sure the United States is like that bully you had in sixth grade that everyone was afraid to piss off. We’re the globe’s version of "Butch."

And at the heart of all of this administration’s idiocy is the biggest moron in the history of the United States.

You think I mean Bush, don’t you? Well, you would be wrong.

Yeah, we all know Bush isn’t all that smart. Attacking Bush for stupidity is just too easy; it’s easy to do just about every time he speaks.

No, I’m talking about the worst choice for Secretary of State in the history of this country; Condoleezza Rice. This is a woman who’s supposedly educated, supposedly has some foreign policy experience, but seriously, folks; her best days are days when she’s apparently just hanging around the White House with George, because when she’s working, she invariably says something laughably stupid.

The latest?

Well, yesterday, the last neocon administration in history (we hope) made a deal with the Czech Republic regarding deploying a cog in their dreamlike "missile shield."

What’s a "missile shield," you ask? Well, it’s a system in which our neocon governments since Reagan have imagined us building, in which the rest of the world simply allows us to park satellites over their countries; satellites equipped with weapons/lasers that are apparently only capable of knocking missiles out of the sky. Yes, that’s right, folks; neocon Republicans actually imagine that the rest of the world is simply going to allow us to place satellites armed with lasers capable of knocking missiles out of commission (and nothing else?) all over the sky, without any compaints.

Except that there are complaints. Loads of them. Much of them, understandably, coming from Russia. You see, Russia still has a lot of nuclear missiles, as do some of the former Soviet satellites. And for an odd reason, that seems to be a mystery to the neocons in this country, the Russians object to satellites equipped with weapons being parked and pointed anywhere near them. One of their main complaints — again, this is something that comes as a shock to the neocons — is that they think — and where do they get this from, anyway? — that the lasers, you know, that can destroy a missile in mid-air, could actually be used for other, more nefarious purposes. And they seem to be under the impression that the United States might actually use them in that way at some point. I don’t know where they get that idea. I mean, we’ve been sitting in the middle of Iraq, occupying the hell out of it, and we haven’t used on laser-guided weapon.

Okay, so back to Condi.

So, yesterday, she makes a deal with the Czech government to construct a tracking radar in the Czech Republic. During the press conference announcing the deal, she actually admitted that the system is not even close to fully developed, but that construction of this tracking radar was necessary because, well… because it looked like a foreign policy success. Seriously, that’s the only logical reason for holding a press conference to announce this thing. They announced a deal with the Czech Republic to build a tracking radar installation for a hypothetical system that won’t be deployed for at least 20 years or more, and which will probably never work. That’s some accomplishment.

But it gets better, folks.

You see, in addition to touting as an accomplishment something that doesn’t actually accomplish anything, Condi also had to say something profoundly stupid. When asked about the Russians’ trepidation over the dubious concept of having hundreds of satellites overhead capable of bringing down nuclear missiles (but nothing else, winkwink nudgenudge), as she stood in the middle of the Czech Republic, which is surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of former Soviet nuclear missiles, and standing as a representative of the largest nuclear power in the world, Condi replied,

"We face with the Iranians, and so do our allies and friends, a growing
missile threat that is getting ever longer and ever deeper, and where
the Iranian appetite for nuclear technology is still unchecked."

No shit. I’m still laughing.

Let’s make something clear. Iran is only a threat when it feels threatened. Just this morning, Iran claims it fired nine missiles, in order to demonstrate that it can retaliate if attacked by the United States or Israel.

In order to think Iran is a threat, one would have to think that, surrounded by nuclear powers like the United States, Israel, Russia, India, Pakistan and China, they would strike first with a nuclear bomb. If you think that, you’re a brain dead neocon. Make no mistake; Iran wasn’t pursuing nuclear weapons to such a degree until the United States attacked a country next door. Condi and her buddies, who refuse to talk to anyone who doesn’t express their undying loyalty to the Bush Administration (not the United States, but the Bushies; they don’t talk to many people here, either) are actually MAKING countries like Iran more radical.

In other words, Iran’s alleged "appetite for nuclear technology" is a direct result of foreign policy that is morally bankrupt, and the most dangerous aspect of the most dangerous administration in US history. And Condi the stupid is one of the architects.

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