You know, the wingnuts love to refer to liberals as "paranoid" and dismiss pretty much everything we say as being part of a ‘conspiracy theory.’ But for Chrissakes, folks, it just doesn’t get any loonier than this.
Remember, this asshole has a national radio show, and a legion of wingnut fans. On the one hand, it does keep the loons occupied, and keeps them out of trouble, because they surely can’t listen and do something else at the same time. But isn’t there something else that could occupy three hours of valuable public airtime?
SAVAGE: All right, we have a breaking news update. Chief Justice John Roberts has had a seizure in his summer home in Maine, and he fell on a dock. Now, what’s interesting to me, and almost frightening and puzzling, is that on Friday Charles Schumer gave a loud and vociferously nasty speech during which he said he would never support another Bush judge. He would never support a — it was — you know, let me ask you something. All you leftists believe in the conspiracy of Bush and Cheney, the conspiracy of 9-11. Am I to believe that there’s no connection between Charles Schumer on Friday saying that he would never appoint, or never, excuse me, approve another Bush appointment to the court, to any court? And then the chief justice suffers a so-called seizure two days later? You’re telling me there’s no possibility of a conspiracy by the Democrats to have caused this seizure in some manner? Tell me that it’s not possible. Tell me that the stakes are not so high that the liberals — who’ve finally lost the court after 50 years — that they would stop short of anything like this. Tell me it’s not possible, and I’ll tell you you’re a liar.
SAVAGE: I find it odd that Bigfoot Schumer — and I call him Bigfoot for a reason — that Bigfoot on Friday would say he’s putting his foot down and they’re never going to approve another Bush appointment because the court’s been moved too far to the right. What he means is it’s no longer a communist socialist court. It’s been moved to the center, make no mistake about it. It’s a centrist court; it’s by no means a right-wing court. A right-wing court would be much different than this one. It’s a centrist court. Even that’s too much for Schumer, [Sen. Barbara] Boxer [D-CA], [Sen. Dianne] Feinstein [D-CA], [Sen. Richard] Durbin [D-IL], [Sen. Edward] Kennedy [D-CA], et al. They want a left-wing court of lackeys to bring us into the world of socialism, to destroy our Constitution once and for all under the guise of liberalism, to destroy once and for all the dignity of the United States of America by bringing the cesspool to Main Street.
And so, this is pretty amazing to me that he’s had a seizure at age 52. That’s a pretty amazing thing. They say that he had a similar episode in 1993 and that now they’re telling us there’s no cause for concern and you don’t know what to believe. But he will remain in the hospital and will remain overnight. Now why he had a seizure I don’t know. I don’t think he was asked to dine in Manhattan on his way to Maine. I don’t think he was asked to share a sandwich on his way to Maine, do you? They say, "Well it can’t happen here. It’s impossible."
Well, let me ask you something. You remember the Russian who ate some polonium sushi? He was going to give an interview that was embarrassing to [Russian President Vladimir] Putin? He ate a polonium sushi and then he died. Well, they do it over there when there’s a lot of money at stake, don’t they? Power at stake? What’s a human being to power-mad people and power-mad parties? Nothing.
So why can’t we assume for a moment that it’s within the realm of possibility that Roberts was in some way — his health was in some way tampered with by the Democrats because they can’t believe that no matter what they do, no matter what they do — even if they engineer a victory for Hillary Clinton/[Barack] Obama — they’re still not going to be in control because the court’s moved to the center? Just a thought. Just a tiny little thought for you to ponder tonight, all you left-wingers who are so glib in your attacks on the conservative movement.
SAVAGE: Let me say this again: On Thursday, some hack for the left wing, some hack professor said that we should increase the number of people on the Supreme Court, raising it from nine to another number. And he gave precedent for it. Of course, you have to go back 200 years to come up with this precedent. He then — then on Friday, the shocking statement by Schumer, the obstructionist, whose nightmare — whose dream for America is a nightmare for me. His dream is to see a Hillary presidency and he becomes appointed to the Supreme Court. That’s what Schumer has lived for from the time he was a little boy. That’s all he wants, so he had the nerve to say on Friday he will never, ever, ever permit another Bush appointee to get onto a court, to become a judge. Then today we read that the chief justice has had a seizure and fell on a dock? Something’s wrong with this picture.
You know, anyone who can make Whore Limbaugh look sane is definitely nuts; no doubt about that. It certainly makes you wonder what he and Allen Ginsberg were doing besides swimming naked, back when he was simply Michael Weiner, left-wing radical nutjob.